Why Letting Go Is the Only Way to Grow
- Holding onto one issue during a divorce may cost more time and money than the issue is worth.
- You will rarely get everything you want in a divorce, and insisting on winning every point may lead your spouse to take the same position.
- Understanding what you are giving up and choosing to let go is different from giving up your legal rights.
- Moving forward will give you more opportunity to focus on your future and your family.
Not Every Battle Is Worth Fighting
When you go through a divorce, you may find yourself holding tightly to one particular issue. Maybe it is a piece of artwork, a family possession, or something that has emotional meaning because of what it represents.
Before insisting on getting that particular item, ask yourself why it matters so much. If the answer is emotional, personal, or simply that you do not want your spouse to get it, you should consider whether the fight is worth the time, money, and emotional energy it will require.
Winning Every Issue Should Not Be the Goal
Divorce is a negotiation. You and your spouse will have different priorities, and you will probably have to make decisions about what matters most to you. If you insist on getting everything you want, your spouse may take the same position. One disagreement will lead to another, and the divorce may take longer, and cost much more than it needs to.
Look at the Bigger Picture
As your attorney, my job is to help you look beyond the individual issue. You need to understand your rights and obligations, but you also need to consider what it will cost to pursue a particular result.
Imagine you are fighting over a valuable piece of artwork. If neither spouse will compromise, the matter may end up before a judge, who may order the artwork to be sold or given to your spouse. You could spend thousands of dollars fighting over something only to discover that neither of you gets to keep it.
Letting Go Is Not Giving Up
Choosing to let go of an issue does not mean you are surrendering your rights without thought. It means you understand what you are giving up, understand the possible consequences, and decide that moving forward is more important and better for you in the long run.
You may decide that you would rather give up your claim to a particular asset than spend additional money and months fighting over it. You also may get something else in return for giving up a particular claim.
Your Future Deserves Your Attention
Holding onto the past may keep you from focusing on the life you want to build. The sooner you accept the reality of your divorce and begin looking forward, the sooner you will have the opportunity to make decisions about your future and to start building your future. That future may include spending more time with your children, pursuing a new career, moving to a new home, building new relationships, or simply creating a life that feels right for you.
Ask If the Fight Is Worth It
Before you decide to fight over an issue, ask what you are likely to gain and what you will spend to get it. Consider the financial cost, the time required, the emotional toll, and the possibility that the final result will not be what you wanted. If you understand those consequences and decide the issue matters enough to pursue, that is your decision. If you decide it is not worth the fight, letting go may be one of the best decisions you make during your divorce.
Contact the Law Offices of Robert J. Merlin
You do not have to fight over every issue to protect your interests during a divorce. The Law Offices of Robert J. Merlin help you understand your rights, evaluate the potential cost of each dispute, and make informed decisions about what matters most to your future. To schedule a consultation, call Robert Merlin at (305) 448-1555 or contact us online.
The Law Offices of Robert J. Merlin, P.A. are located at 250 Catalonia Ave., Suite 706, Coral Gables, Florida 33134.
FAQs
Bob Merlin is a Florida Bar Board Certified Family Law Specialist, he practices in the areas of divorce, time-sharing of children and parenting plans, child support, alimony, paternity, pre-nuptial and post-nuptial agreements, and cohabitation/partnership agreements.
As an experienced Collaborative attorney, Bob continually hones his skills in the Collaborative Process and trains other professionals how to become a Collaborative professional as he is.
“My goal is to help divorcing and other family law clients make well-informed decisions so they experience a more efficient process and feel more in control over their futures.”
