Reconciliation: Sometimes, the Best Divorce Is No Divorce

ByBob Merlin

A few months ago, I had a friend refer a couple to me who were considering a divorce and wanted to review their options. When I talk to people about divorce, I run through all of the possibilities with them, including options that don’t involve lawyers, or even counseling and reconciliation for couples who shouldn’t get divorced.

It was clear, in talking to this couple, they were still in love with each other, and though they did have some obstacles to overcome in their relationship, they weren’t at all insurmountable. I told them, at the end of the meeting, You don’t need a divorce; you need counseling, and referred them to a therapist who specialized in helping married couples with their relationships.

Obviously, not every couple can reconcile, but when they can, I’d much rather help those people stay married than take them to the end of the marriage. While that might seem like an odd stance for a divorce lawyer to take, I see it as consistent with my philosophy. I consider my job to be one where I help people ? to navigate the legal process, to come up with the best solution for someone considering divorce, and to help them get what they need to have the best life possible after a divorce.

If you’re considering divorce, it’s important to know why you want a divorce, and to think about what you want for you, for your children, and for the process of working with your ex-spouse to collaborate on raising children after the divorce. That should include asking yourself if you really want the divorce these six questions (from an article on Huffington Post’s Divorce Channel) are a good place to start the evaluation process.

HuffPost: When to Divorce – Ending a Marriage

Bob MerlinBob Merlin
+ posts

Bob Merlin is a Florida Bar Board Certified Family Law Specialist, he practices in the areas of divorce, time-sharing of children and parenting plans, child support, alimony, paternity, pre-nuptial and post-nuptial agreements, and cohabitation/partnership agreements.

As an experienced Collaborative attorney, Bob continually hones his skills in the Collaborative Process and trains other professionals how to become a Collaborative professional as he is.

“My goal is to help divorcing and other family law clients make well-informed decisions so they experience a more efficient process and feel more in control over their futures.”

Similar Posts

  • Using Prenups for Marriage Planning, Not Divorce

    ByBob Merlin

    Prenuptial agreements address what happens if a marriage ends, but their real value is giving couples a way to plan finances, family responsibilities, and future goals before the marriage. Why Prenups Are Not Just About Divorce When you hear the word prenup, it may sound like planning for divorce. In reality, a prenuptial agreement is about planning your marriage. It allows you and your partner to decide how finances, property, and responsibilities will be handled during your marriage based on your priorities and goals.

    Prenups have become far more common and accepted. Today, they are used by couples of all ages and financial backgrounds. Many families view them as a thoughtful planning tool rather than a sign of mistrust. Parents may even encourage a prenup…

  • How Does Settling Out of Court Protect Your Family?

    ByBob Merlin

    Resolving your divorce outside of court helps protect your family’s privacy. It keeps sensitive financial and personal information out of the public record, and it gives you greater control over the outcome. Private divorce processes like Mediation and Collaborative Divorce encourage customized solutions and healthier co-parenting. Court intervention should be a last resort for situations where cooperation, appropriate negotiations or full disclosure is not possible.

    Settling Out of Court Protects Your Family’s Privacy One of the biggest benefits of settling a divorce out of court is that it protects your family’s privacy. While some documents must be filed with the court, many financial and personal matters can be handled privately instead of becoming part of the public record. By resolving matters privately, you and your…

  • Why Every Couple Should Consider a Prenup

    ByBob Merlin

    You might think prenuptial agreements are just for the rich and famous, but that’s not the case. Whether you’re just starting your career, or you already have some assets, a prenup can be beneficial for your marriage. Even if you don’t have significant wealth now, a prenup can protect future income or assets you might inherit or acquire during your marriage. For example, imagine you know you will inherit property or money down the road.

    Even though inherited assets are typically considered non-marital and not subject to division with your spouse, a prenuptial agreement can ensure that those assets remain yours in the event of a divorce. You can safeguard your financial future, just like you would protect a home or a retirement account. Protecting…

  • Email vs Text vs Phone: What is the Best Way to Communicate with Your Co-Parent?

    ByBob Merlin

    Good communication makes co-parenting easier and reduces conflict. While face-to-face conversations and phone calls are usually more effective, texts, emails, and parenting apps may work better in certain situations. Why Does Direct Communication Work Best? If you can manage it, speaking face-to-face with your co-parent is the most effective way to communicate. You pick up on tone, facial expressions, and body language, all of which shape how your message is received.

    Being in the same space creates a natural level of accountability. You are more likely to be respectful and focused when you are sitting across from each other. This applies to more than just co-parenting. Whether it is a business matter or a family issue, sitting down together often leads to better outcomes. When…

  • Parental Interference in Divorce Cases: What It Is, How To Stop It

    ByBob Merlin

    One of the most challenging issues in any divorce case is parental interference. When a divorce decree is signed, parents either agree to a time-sharing schedule with their children, or, in litigated cases where they can’t agree to the schedule, cede that decision to a judge who creates a schedule for them. Before a divorce is finalized, standing orders can help orchestrate time-sharing schedules and make sure that each parent gets a reasonable amount of time with their children.

    However, in cases of parental interference, one parent will unilaterally decide to keep his or her children from the other parent. Sometimes, it’s a strategic move in preparing for an adversarial divorce ? and might be accompanied by a smear campaign to ?help? the children with…

  • What Happens During Your First Collaborative Divorce Meeting?

    ByBob Merlin

    Your First Meeting Sets the Foundation If you are considering Collaborative Divorce, you may wonder what will happen when you sit down for your first meeting with your spouse and the Collaborative team. You may hope that everything will be resolved that day, but that is not how the process is designed to work. Your first meeting is primarily an introduction to the process and an opportunity to establish how you and your spouse will work together.

    Most importantly, you will sign the Participation Agreement, which is the legal contract that begins the Collaborative Divorce process. Understanding the Participation Agreement Before your first meeting, your attorney should review the Participation Agreement with you and explain what it means. The agreement establishes important commitments, including your…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *