How to Tell if Your Divorce Lawyer Is a Collaborative Divorce Lawyer

One of the most concerning things I’ve found in my years of practicing family law, especially with my decision to move entirely away from litigation, is that not all lawyers who claim to be collaborative lawyers are actually Collaborative lawyers.

Some lawyers feel that the word ?collaborative? has marketing value, and that it sounds friendly and welcoming, so they use that word without acknowledging that Collaborative law is a particular branch of family law with its own specific set of rules.

Collaborative law is a great option for couples that want to determine their own divorce settlement rather than leaving it in the hands of a judge, who value their privacy, and who don’t want to damage their co-parenting relationship.

But it’s an option that requires a lawyer who has specific training in the process, who knows how to work with a mental health professional and a financial professional as part of a Collaborative team, and who knows the rules about coming to a settlement via Collaborative law. This includes the important provision that if a couple decides to move from Collaborative law to litigation, they must replace their Collaborative lawyers with new lawyers ? which guarantees that a couple’s Collaborative lawyers won’t just move the case into the courtroom if things get challenging.

If you’re pursuing a Collaborative divorce and you’re interviewing a lawyer who makes a claim to be Collaborative, the first thing you should do is ask about his or her Collaborative training and experience ? and then ask to see the agreement that all parties will be required to sign when entering the Collaborative Process. The answers to those questions will go a long way toward showing whether the lawyer is Collaborative in practice or in name only.

Provided that you get a sense that you’re working with a Collaborative lawyer, the next step in an initial consultation is to be able to talk about what issues exist with respect to parenting time and finances. Though bringing in a mental health professional or financial professional isn’t required in all Collaborative cases, a good Collaborative lawyer should not only be able to determine whether they should be part of your team, but should also be able to recommend specific candidates based on past experiences.

Personally, I do not handle Collaborative cases without using a mental health professional.

Finally, you should make sure you feel comfortable with the Collaborative lawyer you choose. After all, your Collaborative lawyer will be your advocate and partner in determining a settlement that achieves the best possible outcome for you, your assets, and your children, in a process that allows you to work with your spouse rather than fight with your spouse. It’s not always easy or quick to go through a Collaborative divorce, but if you have the right person in your corner, it can be a better process than you might initially fear.

+ posts

Bob Merlin is a Florida Bar Board Certified Family Law Specialist, he practices in the areas of divorce, time-sharing of children and parenting plans, child support, alimony, paternity, pre-nuptial and post-nuptial agreements, and cohabitation/partnership agreements.

As an experienced Collaborative attorney, Bob continually hones his skills in the Collaborative Process and trains other professionals how to become a Collaborative professional as he is.

“My goal is to help divorcing and other family law clients make well-informed decisions so they experience a more efficient process and feel more in control over their futures.”

Similar Posts

  • Email vs Text vs Phone: What is the Best Way to Communicate with Your Co-Parent?

    Good communication makes co-parenting easier and reduces conflict. While face-to-face conversations and phone calls are usually more effective, texts, emails, and parenting apps may work better in certain situations. Why Does Direct Communication Work Best? If you can manage it, speaking face-to-face with your co-parent is the most effective way to communicate. You pick up on tone, facial expressions, and body language, all of which shape how your message is received.

    Being in the same space creates a natural level of accountability. You are more likely to be respectful and focused when you are sitting across from each other. This applies to more than just co-parenting. Whether it is a business matter or a family issue, sitting down together often leads to better outcomes. When…

  • Why High Net Worth Couples Choose Collaborative Divorce

    High net worth couples will choose the Collaborative Divorce Process because it keeps their personal and financial information private and because it allows you and your spouse to be in control of every decision.  You also have the right kinds of divorce professionals to help you reach thoughtful, well-informed agreements. Divorce Privacy Matters For many couples with significant assets, privacy is a top concern.

    In a traditional courtroom divorce, financial affidavits, bank records, credit card statements, and other personal details are filed with the court and become part of the public record. Collaborative Divorce works differently. At the start of the process, you and your spouse sign a Participation Agreement that sets the rules for how the divorce process will be handled, including a commitment…

  • How Prenups Can Reduce Conflict in a  Divorce

    A prenuptial agreement does more than plan for what happens if a marriage ends. It creates honest communication about money, expectations, and family goals before the wedding. When handled with care, a prenup can strengthen your relationship and reduce future conflict. A Modern View of Prenuptial Agreements Prenuptial agreements once carried a reputation for being one sided or unromantic.

    In the past, they were often used by wealthy individuals, usually older men marrying younger women, to protect assets in the event of divorce or death. Today, that image no longer fits. Many couples enter marriage with their own income, property,  and family wealth, and they use prenups to establish clear expectations and reduce future misunderstandings. Families sometimes encourage their children to have a prenup to…

  • How to Handle Divorce When a Business Is Involved

    When a business is part of your divorce, you face unique decisions that can significantly impact your financial future. Understanding your options and approaching the process with the right strategy can help protect your interests and ensure the business remains a valuable asset. Understand Your Options You typically have three primary options for handling a business during a divorce: Choosing the right path depends on your specific circumstances, including the relationship with your spouse and the business’s viability.

    Obtain a Business Valuation The biggest challenge in dividing a business is determining its value. Business valuation is not an exact science. Factors such as location, type of business, income, expenses, and market trends all play a role. Hiring a forensic accountant with experience in divorce cases…

  • Why Is January the Start of Divorce Season?

    January is widely recognized as the start of “divorce season.” Divorce season means there is a significant increase in the number of new divorce cases filed in the first part of the year.  The reasons for the increase are in part a matter of timing. After the busy holiday season, many people are ready for a fresh start.  For some, it is time to face issues in their marriage and decide that it is time to move on.

    After the Holidays: A Time for Change For most people, the holidays are about family and togetherness. During this time, many choose not to address serious issues like divorce because they don’t want to disrupt family dynamics, especially with children involved. Once the new year begins, it…

  • Crypto in Divorce: Dealing with Digital Assets

    If cryptocurrency or other digital assets are part of your divorce, you need to understand the risks, the value, and how they fit into your overall settlement. Bringing in financial experts and making sure both spouses have the right information can protect your financial future. Understanding Crypto in Divorce Cryptocurrency has become a more common topic in divorce, but it is still unusual compared to real estate, retirement accounts, or traditional investments.

    Values can swing quickly. Some people have built significant wealth, while others have lost large sums. Because of this volatility, you should take extra care when digital assets are part of your settlement. The Importance of Transparency One challenge with crypto is that it is not always easy to trace or verify. Unlike…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *