Can My Spouse and I Talk During the Divorce Process?
- You and your spouse will likely continue communicating during your divorce, especially if you have children.
- Talking directly may reduce conflict, save money, and make it easier to resolve issues.
- You should be careful about making commitments before understanding the legal and financial consequences.
- Important agreements should be documented in writing, signed and reviewed with your attorney when appropriate.
Talking Does Not Have to Mean Fighting
Some attorneys tell clients not to speak with their spouse during a contested divorce. In my experience, that is not realistic because you and your spouse will probably communicate, particularly if you have children or shared financial responsibilities.
I encourage you to listen respectfully to what your spouse has to say without feeling like you need to make an immediate decision. A simple response such as, “I will think about that,” gives you time to consider the proposal and speak with your attorney before agreeing to anything.
Know What You Are Agreeing To
A conversation with your spouse may lead to a solution that seems simple or reasonable. Before you agree, however, you need to understand what that decision means legally and financially, including whether you may be giving up another right or creating another obligation in the process.
For example, your spouse may ask you to agree that a particular asset belongs to them. That sounds like a simple decision, but the classification of that asset, its value, and the rights you will be giving up could create consequences you did not anticipate.
Putting Important Agreements in Writing
Even small decisions deserve clear communication. If you and your spouse agree about your child’s participation in an after-school activity, putting that agreement in writing gives you a record of what you decided. Larger financial or parenting agreements deserve even greater care. Writing down the terms and discussing them with your attorney will reduce the risk of a disagreement later about what you said or intended.
Watch the Way You Communicate
The way you communicate with your spouse matters. If a conversation turns into yelling, accusations, or threats, it will damage your relationship and make future negotiations more difficult.
You also need to remember that conversations between spouses usually are not recorded or formally documented. Later, you may have very different memories of what was said, creating a dispute that could have been avoided with clear written communication or a confirming e-mail.
Talking May Benefit Your Family
When you and your spouse communicate respectfully, you may be able to resolve issues without spending additional money on attorneys or court proceedings. This also gives you more opportunities to create agreements that fit your family’s needs.
If communication between you and your spouse is difficult, mediation or Collaborative Divorce can provide a more structured setting for discussing important issues. In Collaborative Divorce, you and your spouse each have your own attorney, and other professionals may be involved to address financial or family issues. In mediation, a neutral mediator helps you and your spouse negotiate agreements but does not represent either of you.
Think Before You Commit
You do not need to shut down communication with your spouse simply because you are getting divorced. You do need to protect yourself by understanding what you are agreeing to before you make a commitment. When your spouse proposes a solution, listen, consider the consequences, and give yourself time to seek legal advice before making a decision.
Contact the Law Offices of Robert J. Merlin
Talking with your spouse during divorce does not have to mean giving up your rights or making decisions before you understand the consequences. The Law Offices of Robert J. Merlin can explain your options and provide legal guidance while protecting your interests throughout the divorce process. To schedule a consultation, call Robert Merlin at (305) 448-1555 or contact us online.
The Law Offices of Robert J. Merlin, P.A. are located at 250 Catalonia Ave., Suite 706, Coral Gables, Florida 33134.
FAQs
Should I stop talking to my spouse during a divorce?
No. You will likely need to communicate with your spouse, particularly if you have children. The important thing is to communicate respectfully and avoid making commitments before you understand the consequences.
Should I put agreements with my spouse in writing?
Yes. Written communication provides a record of what you and your spouse agreed to and will reduce the risk of later disagreements about what was said.
Should I talk to my attorney before agreeing to something?
Yes. If your spouse proposes an agreement involving property, finances, parenting, or another significant issue, speaking with your attorney first will give you an opportunity to understand the legal and financial consequences before making a commitment.
Bob Merlin is a Florida Bar Board Certified Family Law Specialist, he practices in the areas of divorce, time-sharing of children and parenting plans, child support, alimony, paternity, pre-nuptial and post-nuptial agreements, and cohabitation/partnership agreements.
As an experienced Collaborative attorney, Bob continually hones his skills in the Collaborative Process and trains other professionals how to become a Collaborative professional as he is.
“My goal is to help divorcing and other family law clients make well-informed decisions so they experience a more efficient process and feel more in control over their futures.”
