Reconciliation: Sometimes, the Best Divorce Is No Divorce
Dec. 27, 2013
A few months ago, I had a friend refer a couple to me who were considering a divorce and wanted to review their options. When I talk to people about divorce, I run through all of the possibilities with them, including options that don't involve lawyers, or even counseling and reconciliation for couples who shouldn't get divorced.
It was clear, in talking to this couple, they were still in love with each other, and though they did have some obstacles to overcome in their relationship, they weren't at all insurmountable. I told them, at the end of the meeting, You don't need a divorce; you need counseling, and referred them to a therapist who specialized in helping married couples with their relationships.
Obviously, not every couple can reconcile, but when they can, I'd much rather help those people stay married than take them to the end of the marriage. While that might seem like an odd stance for a divorce lawyer to take, I see it as consistent with my philosophy. I consider my job to be one where I help people ? to navigate the legal process, to come up with the best solution for someone considering divorce, and to help them get what they need to have the best life possible after a divorce.
If you're considering divorce, it's important to know why you want a divorce, and to think about what you want for you, for your children, and for the process of working with your ex-spouse to collaborate on raising children after the divorce. That should include asking yourself if you really want the divorce these six questions (from an article on Huffington Post's Divorce Channel) are a good place to start the evaluation process.