4 Truths No One Tells You About Divorce
Divorce often involves delays, changing judges, and unexpected outcomes that are outside your control. Parenting rights, property division, and available legal options may work very differently than you expect.
1) The Process Is Often Out of Your Control
Many people are unprepared for how much a divorce can be outside their control, especially when the case goes to court. Litigation moves on the court’s timeline, not yours. Getting in front of a judge in Florida can take time, and progress does not always mean resolution is close.
Judges can change during a case for many reasons, including reassignment, retirement or moving to a different division. When that happens, a new judge must get up to speed before making decisions. You cannot assume the new judge has reviewed the full history of your case, which may require issues to be explained again. This can happen more than once and it often surprises people who expect consistency and efficiency in court.
2) Parenting Assumptions Can Be Wrong
Many people enter divorce expecting parenting arrangements to stay the same, especially when one parent has handled most day-to-day care-giving. In some families and cultures, there is also an expectation that the mother will continue to control parenting decisions.
Florida law does not start from that position. The law begins with the presumption that both parents have equal rights and responsibilities with respect to their children. Once you are in front of a judge, shared parental responsibility is the starting point, even if that was not the reality during the marriage. Whether arrangements change often depends on what is negotiated and whether one parent wants a different arrangement.
3) Property Is Not Always Yours Alone
Another surprise involves property people believe belongs only to them. You may think an asset is yours because it is in your name or because you have always used it, such as a car or a retirement account.
If an asset was acquired during the marriage, it is generally treated as marital property if it was acquired with work income received during the marriage. You may still keep it, but its value is usually shared. To balance things out, your spouse may be entitled to another asset of equal value or to half of what the asset is worth. This often surprises people who assumed ownership was based only on use or title.
4) The Law Is Not Always the Final Word
Many people walk into divorce believing the law dictates exactly what must happen. While a judge must follow the law if your case goes to court, that is not the only option.
When you are negotiating a resolution, you and your spouse have the ability to reach agreements that differ from what a judge might order. Part of an attorney’s role is to explain the law and help you understand when you have flexibility. Instead of focusing only on legal outcomes, it can be more productive to focus on what works best for your family. Collaborative Divorce and Mediation can help you to create custom resolutions that are better for your family than a one size fits all approach when you let a judge decide.
Contact the Law Offices of Robert J. Merlin
If you are preparing for divorce, having accurate information from the beginning matters. The Law Offices of Robert J. Merlin help you understand how the divorce process really works and what divorce options are best for your situation. Contact Robert J. Merlin at (305) 448-1555 to schedule a consultation.
The Law Offices of Robert J. Merlin, P.A. are located at 250 Catalonia Avenue, Suite 706, Coral Gables, Florida 33134.
FAQs
Why do divorce cases often take longer than expected?
Court schedules, procedural requirements, and judicial changes can slow the process in litigation.
Can a judge really change during my divorce case?
Yes. Judges may be reassigned, retire, or change divisions, which can require parts of the case to be explained again.
Do both parents start with equal rights in Florida?
Yes. Florida law generally begins with the presumption of equal rights and responsibilities with respect to children.
Do we have to follow exactly what the law says in a divorce?
If your case goes to court, a judge must follow the law. Negotiated resolutions with your spouse can allow more flexibility.
Bob Merlin is a Florida Bar Board Certified Family Law Specialist, he practices in the areas of divorce, time-sharing of children and parenting plans, child support, alimony, paternity, pre-nuptial and post-nuptial agreements, and cohabitation/partnership agreements.
As an experienced Collaborative attorney, Bob continually hones his skills in the Collaborative Process and trains other professionals how to become a Collaborative professional as he is.
“My goal is to help divorcing and other family law clients make well-informed decisions so they experience a more efficient process and feel more in control over their futures.”
